1Â Have an accurate view of yourself.
Most important of all, love yourself, flaws and all. You can’t expect someone to love you if you can’t love yourself. If you try to have a lifelong relationship when you have a negative self-image, you’re likely to self-sabotage and hurt the people closest to you, so sort this important first step out before you continue.
2Â Define your lifeâ€™s goals.
Do I want to have children?
Where do I want to live?
Do I want to work or manage the home (or both?)
Do I want my relationship to be an exclusive one?
What do I want to accomplish before I die?
What kind of lifestyle do I want to have?
3Â Draw on your experiences from past relationships.
What did you like about your partner?
What did you enjoy doing the most with your partner?
What did you disagree with your partner about?
What did you criticize your partner for?
What did your partner criticize you for?
Why did the relationship end?
4Â Ask lots of questions in the early phases of a relationship.
As you meet and begin to date a new person, talk to them about themselves. Ask them about what they like in a partner, what their life goals are, and what their long-term plans are. Your partner’s ethics, interests, spiritual outlook, and even diet may be important to your long-term compatibility, so don’t be afraid to ask about any of it!
You’ll need to consider questions in all areas of lifestyle choices. For instance, do they smoke, drink, or do drugs? Do they have any personal demons? Will they be a supportive and understanding person if you wish to change or advance your career?
To be clear, these types of questions aren’t necessarily things you should ask at your first date. Asking very personal questions early on can be a major turn-off that can sabotage your efforts to start a relationship with someone. However, these types of major lifestyle questions are probably things that you’ll want to know the answer to within, say, the first six months of your relationship.