The True Meaning Of Love

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What is the true meaning of love? most of us just fall in love or say we are in love without knowing the true meaning of love. the meaning of love differs from people to people, some believe love is when you give, some believe love is when you take, some believe love has to do with sex. what do you believe? and what do you think is the true meaning of love? As you read further this article will open your eyes to true meaning of love that you never knew or that you always overlook.

 “Love is a cheap word. Anyone can say it, only few Truly know what it means.”   Juliana Scott

 It’s unreasonable to speak about the true meaning of love without knowing what the word ‘love’ means.

Love means, to have a strong affection or deep tender feeling for somebody or something.”   Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary

From the definition, I pick out two phrases; ‘strong affection’, and ‘tender feelings’. Both phrases connote careful consideration. If you say you love somebody, you have to carefully consider you’re every action towards them.  It means you won’t do anything to hurt them. What some call love today says otherwise.

Love is the most frequently used word in the relationship cycle, but not everyone that uses it means it. That’s why in the name of love, many have been defrauded, deceived to untimely death by suicide, led to miserable living, even shutting their hearts never to love again.

While some have bad experience of love, it has put smile in the face of many, and given them reason to hope and live again. Love led to the immortalization of men like ‘St Valentine’ of the popular ‘Valentine’s day’, and ‘Romeo’ of the popular ‘Romeo and Juliet’ tale. It has inspired great songs of beautiful relationships and that of pain and heart break, making some conclude that love is a two side coin with joy as its head and pain as its tail.

Whenever a topic on love is raised, you never get a mute. Even well-known introverts speak up. In one of the seminars on relationships I attended, someone said something about love I won’t ever forget. He said, “Love is cursed. It is the reason we are suffering today as human beings. For it is the love of our fore father Adam for our fore mother ( if there is any word like that ) Eve, that made him join her in eating the forbidden fruit that led to all of our sufferings today, even after being warned by GOD to stay away from that fruit.

Some believe love is pure. Others believe it doesn’t exist else, the world today wouldn’t be as corrupt as it is. It seems everyone have their perspective of the meaning of love. What then is the true meaning of love? What should we look out for when we say we love somebody or somebody say they love us?

 

From my research on the true meaning of love, I picked out these quotations. I will concentrate on the last one which is from the bible, because of its emphasis on the qualities of love.

 

      “When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is truly nothing as conditional and unconditional love”

                                Sadhguru

  “It should be a privilege to be able to say ‘I love you’ to someone. It shouldn’t be something people say because they feel like it. A privilege that is  earned. They say you have to earn the right to be loved; no,  love is unconditional,  if you love someone they don’t have to earn it. But the right to tell someone that you love them? That has to be earned. You have to earn the right to be believed.

                                                     C. JoyBell C.

  “Love is patient. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave Indecently, does not look for its own interest, does not become easily provoked. It does not keep account of injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never fails.            

                      1st Corinthians 13: 4-8 ( New World Translation )

 I know not everyone in the world is a Christian. I don’t think anyone will dispute those qualities stated in the above passage of the bible that helps in understanding the true meaning of love.

Love is patient

 “Patience is not. Sitting down and waiting. It is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and. Seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full.”

                                Rumi

 Read: How To Stay In Love With Your Partner

Love is the ability to accept delay, annoyance or suffering without complaining (patience).

How many of us are patient today in this our jet age where we are used to getting things as fast as we want them? For a relationship to work out, you need somebody who can accept delay, annoyance and suffering with understanding. That is why relationship experts always advice courting at least for six months or more before going into a relationship. It is during this period that you should test their patience and know if you can be patient with them, or they will be patient enough with our weaknesses. It is also during this period we will know if they will pass the challenges the relationship will face in the future. Many relationships today fail because one or both partners are not patient with the weakness of their partner. I know a marriage that lasted only a year because the wife was not able to take in during that period. The husband and his family members pressured the wife till she got fed up and packed out of the house. Without making any effort to get his wife back, the man remarried. A Year later, his new wife still did not get pregnant so they went to the hospital and discovered the problem was from the man. At that time, the first wife he left had met someone else whom she was already pregnant for. Before then, the first wife had suggested they visit the hospital together several times which he refused believing the problem was from his wife.   This marriage crashed in just a year of childlessness. Whereas, others have lived for years happily married without children until GOD blessed their marriage with children

You can’t say you love somebody if you are not patient with them.

 

Love is kind

Love is showing concern about the happiness and feelings of others in a gentle and friendly way (kindness). Love is action, not just mere words. It is best expressed when shown, not said in a gentle and friendly way as we experience today. No wonder the people who compose the best love songs and text messages don’t make the best wives and husbands. I am not against composing beautiful love songs and text messages, no. It’s an act of love which is very good.  Rather than compose good songs and text messages and still abuse your partner, put everything you say in that text and song to action. Never abuse your partner even when they upset you. Rather than abuse them, be kind to them. This will show you Truly care and love them.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

                               Mao Zedong

  “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, constant kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.

                     Dr. Albert Schweitzer

 

Love is not jealous

   “Jealousy is that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive “

                         Havelock Ellis                   

 

Jealousy is one human attribute that only leads to regrets. It has broken many relationships and is about putting an end to many others. It’s one thing we should watch out for in our relationships for it always come up. It has pushed many to actions that they later regret. [Read: Would You Trust God Enough to Let Go? Stop Holding On To It]

Recently, I read news about a man that stabbed his wife to death and attempted covering his act by blaming his wife’s death on a fire accident he intentionally started. In the process of setting the house on fire, he accidentally poured gas on himself and got burnt. He was rushed to the hospital by their neighbours but unfortunately for him, he passed out before they got to the hospital. Their four year old daughter who survived the incident told the police officer in charge of the case that her dad started the fire after stabbing her mum to death on her returning home from her banking job late due to hold up. Their neighbours confirmed that they always fight over the husband being jealous that his wife is richer than him for he works as a taxi driver while his wife works as a banker. This is just one of the many unfortunate incidents caused by jealousy.

Love does not feel or show it wishes it has someone else’s advantage, possessions, or achievements. Any display of this is not love.

 

 “Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistake one for the other or assume that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. Infact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.”

                       Robert A. Heinlein

 

Love does not Brag

Love does not talk with too much pride about something or boast

Some people are too fund of themselves, achievements, or presence in other peoples life that they boast. Such people despite their boastful attitude still go ahead to confess love to the people they intimidate. They are never quiet about what they do to help people or how much their presence in such people’s life matter. Boastfulness only belittles you and your good deeds. It does not imply you love. Love is best shown in humility. Never imagine people cannot live without your presence in their life.

It will only lead you to brag. No one enjoys being told how unimportant their contribution to a relationship is, even if it’s little.

The best way to stop bragging is to stop thinking that people cannot survive without your presence in their life.[Read: How to know if a person truly loves you 1 of 3 Notice what the person says]

 

  “The truest human is the one whose conduct proceeds from goodwill and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equals to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man aware of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humble if necessity compel him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deeds follow his words; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honour is sacred and virtue safe.”

                        Markesa Yeager

 

Love does not behave indecently (rude)

Rudeness here is people’s behaviour of showing no respect or consideration to others. No one wants to be treated this way. The rate of abusive relationships we have today shows some of us don’t care. I know a girl who loves wearing revealing clothes. She used to believe that if her boyfriend doesn’t beat her, he doesn’t love her. According to her, the best moments in her relationship happens after her boyfriend beat her up. I tried making her see reasons that her perspective of love is wrong, but all my efforts fell to deaf ear. At the end, her boyfriend left her and marries another girl when he was ready for marriage after leaving her body with scars. Today, she has stopped wearing revealing clothes because of the scars all over her body.

Anyone that loves you will treat you and others around with respect. Before going into any relationship, check how you or the person you are about going into that relationship with treat people around you and them. If you or the person you are about considering for a relationship don’t treat people around with respect and consideration, don’t think you will handle your partner differently, or they will handle you differently.

 

“Rudeness is a weak hearts attempt at imitating love”

Jacob Rutledge

 

Love does not look for its own interest (selfish)

Thinking first of one’s own interest or needs without concerns for others is not love. Love is having or showing respect for the opinions, values, morals, and beliefs of others. It does not want others to become what you set them to become. It is allowing them express themselves without holding back for the fear that you might be offended. This way, they will become more open with you.

I know a relationship where the wife and her children used to fear her husband. Everything he does he puts command. If the wife dares express herself, he asks her to shut up even in front of the children. One-day when he returned home from work, he met an empty house. The lady took the children with her to her family house. When he went begging for their return, the family of his wife  made him put pen to paper that he will  start treating his wife and children with respect and concern else, they won’t return.

Love is not one sided. If you give it, you receive it. It is doing to others what you want to be done to you.

Read: How To Know If A Lady Is A Runs Girl(Not a Marriageable Girl)

 “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

Robert Heinlein

 “Love is what is left in a relationship after all the Selfishness is taken out.”

                         Nick Richardson

 

Love does not become easily provoked

Love is not being easily annoyed or angry. Sometimes we allow our temper take control of us. During this time, we do things that we later regret, that are for those with active conscience, some don’t even regret their actions. This is very bad. Provocation is the cause of many relationship abuses. When provoked, the major thing that dominates our mind is to hurt the person that provokes us. This is where love should come in. Love is everything the opposite of provocation. If you love somebody, you won’t do anything to hurt them. If their actions offend you, tell them politely and be friends again. This doesn’t mean you won’t get angry at them sometimes. You will, pending on your mood. No one is perfect. If you do, please apologise and try your best not to express your anger on them again. If someone keep expressing his or her anger on you even after you have let them know you don’t like it, they don’t care about you.

 

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

                                 Sam Keen

 

Love does not keep account of injury

Nobody is born perfect. There will always be time when we will offend others or they offend us. The relationship becomes better when we let go our offending one another and move on.

Some people never forgive. They keep account of the times people wrong them. Keeping account whenever people offend you will only make you bitter about them even if it’s not your intention. I have a friend that uses to relay to you how many times you have offended him whenever you offend him. How he remember I don’t know. I noticed his friendship with people don’t last because he was always bitter about people, so I set up a one on one chat with him where I  made it known to him that the cause of his bitterness and short relationship with people is his unforgiving attitude. He confessed he didn’t realise this until I made it known to him.

There are many others out there like my friend. Many relationships are no longer functional because one or both partners take account whenever they are wronged. There is no relationship without flaws. There will be times that the other party will offend you. If you are the one that offend them, quickly apologise and make it known to them that you are sorry. Keeping account whenever people offend us only leads to bitterness that in turn leads to wrong actions. The best way to deal with this is to be open with the person we are in a relationship with. Let them know they offend us when we should; other times overlook the offence when it calls for overlooking. Not every offence is worth reacting to. If you are the one that offend your partner and they make it known to you, apologise immediately and make them know you are sorry. Never stay in a relationship where your partner relay to you the times you have offended them even when you know you apologised. Their bitterness will lead them to abusing you when you don’t expect.

 

“One forgives to the degree that one loves.”

                         La Richefaucauld

“He who cannot forgive others  breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.”

                          George Herbert

 “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

                  Dr Martin Luther King Jnr

 

Love does not rejoice over unrighteousness (evil) but rejoice with the truth

I don’t need to define evil. Everyone knows its actions that are morally bad. We all have the gift of freewill which helps us decide between good and evil. No one was created evil. Becoming bad or evil is a choice we make as we grow. Nothing good comes out from being evil, and nothing evil comes out of being good. We meet different people with different

Mentality as we go about our everyday lives. The best people to go into a relationship with are those that will be plain with you when you are wrong. They are the ones that truly loves or care about you. Anyone that says they love you and supports you when they know you are on the wrong path or doing something that is not morally upright does not love you. Too bad our society today is not helping matters. People are trying to force others to accept what is good as deprivation and evil as freedom. It takes true courage to stand for the truth. Lying and cheating is becoming accepted as the best way to get into a relationship. Some even brag about how they cheat and lie in their relationship to get applause from their friends.

 

 “There is no more startling phenomenon in our day than the respectabilization of evil. We accept In stride the false promises of politicians, the misrepresentation in advertising, the everyday dishonesty of Mr and Mrs John Doe. The cheating on exams, the usual exaggeration in conversations, and the common immoralities of our times. We no longer blush and we are no longer shocked by the immorality going on around us. Woe to those who call evil good.”

                                Billy Graham          

 

 I know a guy that stood out from his group of friends by being faithful to his girlfriend while his friends play on girls. When they get what they want from the girls sexually, they move to the next available girls. He stood to the truth that what they were doing was wrong so they side-lined him and continued with their adventure with girls hoping to change when they find the right girl. Today, he is happily married to his girlfriend with three kids. His friends are still searching for the right woman. If you meet somebody that is courageous enough to tell you the truth about every matter you take up to them, cherish them. They are the ones that truly love you.

 “Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.”

                    Warren W Wiersbe

 “Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it will always get you the right ones.”

                          John Lennon

 

Love believes, hopes, and endures all things (trust) 

Believe, hope, and endurance put together makes one word, ‘trust’. Trust as we know, is the believe that one can rely on the goodness, strength, and ability of someone. In the relationship cycle, trust is the ability to believe and rely on the love of our partner. This believes or reliability doesn’t just happen, it is earned.  If we can love to the extent of trust, then nothing can come in-between out relationship except death.  Believing and hoping in the love of our partner strengthens the relationship by killing every doubt that arises as the relationship progress. Trust cements and strengthens our love for our partner. Trusting our partner is the best way to show we love and care for them. A love built on trust is sure to pass the test of time. Gossips and rumours of infidelity which causes separation and confusion in a lot of relationships cannot come in-between a relationship built on trust.  Trusting your partner means you have loved them enough to know you can endure their weaknesses.

If you must love in a relationship, you must trust.

“Trust lies at the core of love; there can be no true love without trust.”

                              M.K Soni

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.”

                         Wm. Paul young

 

Finally, Love never fails.  It succeeds in every. Relationship in which it leads

Contemplate what I know, the qualities that love doth not possess;  love lift no cruel or unkind hand for it seeketh no harm. It shirks from constraint, and demand for tyranny is not love. A boisterous voice never crosses loves lips, for to speak with thunder chases its very presence from the heart.Love inflicts no pain, no fear, no misery, but conquers all such foes. It is said that love is not selfish yet it does not guilt those who are. On a heart unwillingly given it stakes no claim. Love is nothing from Pandorax box; it is no evil, sin, or sorrow unleashed on this world.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

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Ajiboye Ifedapo is a young man who believes in LIFE, LOVE and MARRIAGE, who is out with the purpose to teach people on how to live a fulfilled life, have a wonderful relationship and a successful marriage. He is a counselor and the founder of LIVE RIGHT LOVE RIGHT and HAPPY MARRIED WOMEN. you can follow me on twitter @ifedapo2015

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