7 Things a Girl Shouldn’t Get Into a Relationship or Get Married For

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7 Things a Girl Shouldn’t Get Into a Relationship or Get Married For

 

7 Things a Girl Shouldn’t Get Into a Relationship or Get Married For

We all want to get married but the problem here is we all have our different reasons for getting married. No matter your reasons for getting married make sure it’s the right reasons, if not you might end up in the sad marriage hole for the rest of your life. There is no need for OH HAD I KNOW. There is no enjoyment in life when you don’t have a very lovely family. One thing about this marriage institution is; you can’t force yourself to love a man that doesn’t want to be loved by you. People always ask me series of questions about this issue. Some will ask, can’t love grow? , some will ask can’t I get married to a man I do not love and later build the love? Some will even fight me and tell me it doesn’t work like that. The point here is, I am trying to be realistic, that’s the only way I can help people and preach my belief. About the questions people asked, the first question, can’t love grow? Yes of course love can grow, but my question is, what if the love refuses to grow? We are human, we have our limits, we need love and affections and marriage is not like a business where you can risk and if it fails you opt out and jump into another business train. Marriage is for better for worse, if you want to risk it like a business and build the love, fine, it’s cool but I will advise you not to because if the love building fails, you are hooked for life already because I don’t preach divorce. If a marriage should fail, a woman suffers the most. According to research more than 60% of marriages end up in divorce and after the divorce and later get married to another spouse, more than 60% of 2nd marriages end up in divorce and more than 70% of third marriages end up in divorce. Divorce every now and them, my question now is, is that how you want to live your life? Normal age that God has answered for every human being is to die at the age of 70, so let’s say your first marriage is at the age of 25, 70 minus 25 is 55, do you want to be getting in and out of marriage for 55years? I don’t think so. A lady shouldn’t get into a relationship or marriage if it’s not for love and he is the right person. Below are some reasons a lady shouldn’t get married for; [Read Also: 13 Most Important Ways To Get Over a Break Up]

  1. Don’t get married for sex

Sex is very good I know and nobody can say no to a very good sex but sex alone shouldn’t be your reason for wanting to get married. You fell in love with the sex, but you thought you fell in love with him, you decided to take the relationship to the next level and get married. That’s good but what happens when the good sex stops and other reality of life and marriage comes in, the marriage and life becomes miserable. In marriage there are a lot of boxes to be ticked, don’t just tick one and believe you have ticked it all. There is more to marriage than just good sex, and you should look into other things necessary for a successful marriage. In the beginning if marriage the sex might be good but what happens outside the bedroom, when you want your husband to be the man and stand as the man but fails.

Read Also: One I Love; You’re The One I love

  1. Don’t get married because of family, friends and society pressure

This scenario is not a very good one. When your family puts pressure on it to get married maybe because you are old enough to be or they are tired of seeing your face around, or even maybe they want you to marry their friend son. You know how life could be when your family turn against you; it will be like there is nothing more in life to do. Sometimes you discover that all your friends are all married. But that’s not a good reason for you to rush into marriage if you are not ready. One thing about marriage is, your family and friends that pressurize you won’t leave in your husband’s house with you, which means anything you go through or suffer in your husband’s house is for you alone, if he beats you every day, it’s you he’s beating not them and don’t forget some might even abandon you which means, you bear the cross alone. So take the decision for yourself, decide what you want and don’t let anybody rush you into a marriage you are not ready for or maybe you haven’t seen the right guy, don’t let the pressure push in settling for the wrong guy.

  1. Don’t get married because of age(when age is no more on your side)

The normal age for a girl to get married is 25-26. You are getting older and still have not seen a good responsible guy that’s ready to settle down and make you his wife, I know how this looks and feels like but don’t forget that it’s not always how far but how well. I will tell you that it’s better to get married at the age of 32-33 and be happily married than to get married at the age of 25-26 and be miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you shouldn’t get married at 25 if you are ready and have met the right guy. But what I am saying is because you weren’t like the other girls that married at the age of 25 doesn’t make you less a woman and don’t because of that just jump into marriage with any man that comes your way. Take your time, be happy, have fun, meet people, pray and your man will locate you [Read Also: 5 New Year Resolutions That Will Affects Your Relationship Positively in 2016]

  1. Don’t get married for financial reasons

Financial stability in marriage is good, nobody wants to suffer. Even guys nowadays don’t want a liability for a wife. Ladies because you want financial stability doesn’t mean your number agenda is to get a rich guy or get married to him because he’s rich. Fine he’s rich and can take good care of you but do you think the only way to take care of a woman is just by money. I know the women we have, nobody can satisfy them but as a man we must try our best to do so. So if your husband keeps giving you money and doesn’t give you his time, affection, love and body, can you cope with that? He might not be rich now but he might have the potentials and if you see the potentials in him plus he’s a good man in all aspect then nothing should stop you from not saying yes I do to him. Don’t just judge by the money he has got. What happens when the money is no more there?

 

  1. Don’t get married because you are tired of being lonely

Loneliness is not a good thing and it can leads to depression. But a bad marriage is worse and can lead to depression, mental illness and death. And loneliness is just a matter of time before you finally find your love but a bad marriage might not be redeemable. The percentage of bad marriage in the world is much more than that of a good marriage. This results shows you the reason why you must buckle up and don’t just get into marriage because you are tired of being alone except you want your marriage to add up to the failed marriage. If you jump in there is a 80% chance you will jump out.

  1. Don’t get married because of look and appearance

If you should ask 10 ladies how they want their man to look like, 9 will say tall, and handsome. Even the guys want their wife to be look like kim Kardashian, Halle Berry, but appearance is just one box out of the marriage box to be ticked. So the message is, pretty face doesn’t mean good brains, doesn’t mean good behaviour. So before you go all in for appearance and look, think twice. The good looks can be destroyed by accident, if that happens, will you fell out of love with him?

  1. Don’t get married by mistake

We are all bound to make mistakes but making another mistake after the first mistake when trying to correct it will be a terrible thing to do. The kind of mistake that could happen here is getting pregnant for a man, which is the first mistake but the second mistake is getting married to the man when you are not sure he is the right man for you. I have seen situations where the lady get to marry the man after getting pregnant but it always ends bad and most of them sad. Getting a divorce is not an option, the option here is not to rush in taking your decisions, take your time, do it right. Don’t correct a mistake with another mistake, instead correct the mistake with the right decision and before you know it you will forget you ever made a mistake.

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Read Also: How I Picked My Wife and Almost Lost My Life

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Ajiboye Ifedapo is a young man who believes in LIFE, LOVE and
MARRIAGE, who is out with the purpose to teach people on how to
live a fulfilled life, have a wonderful relationship and a
successful marriage. He is a counselor and the founder of LIVE
RIGHT LOVE RIGHT and HAPPY MARRIED WOMEN. you can follow me on twitter @ifedapo2015

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