Ladies You Must Not Fall In-Love With

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“Don’t get it twisted, LOVE is a BEAUTIFUL thing”. Dbanj ‘Fall In Love’.

It’s more beautiful to Fall in Love, but with the right person. When you fall in love with the wrong person, you tend to keep your heart to yourself when going into another relationship, to save yourself the stress of being heart broken.

Little wonder people go into relationships these days with their Head instead of their Heart. If you are in that state or you are a Gentleman looking forward to a relationship with the right Lady, here are some ladies you should always show your RED CARD:

 

1) CONTROL FREAKS

These ones see you as a PUPPET instead of a LOVER and COMPANION.

They want to be the man of the relationship instead of the complemented. She wants to dictate for you how to breathe, work and dress, friends to keep, how to eat, how to sleep, what’s good for you and what is not, etc. If she had her way she will tell you how to dream when sleeping at night.

Best way to know them is; they are never okay with your choices of things.

 

2) MONEY FOR HAND, BACK FOR GROUND GIRL

This one will never visit you except she hears you have started dancing to Korede Bellos ‘Godwin’. You have been telling her all the sweet words in the world even borrowed some lines in your favourite movies or songs, all she has been telling you is no! No! No! All of a sudden the No! Turns Yes! Never believe her. If the money stop flowing, your relationship with her ends¸ the next time you will see her again is when you receive another alert.

 

3) PARK GIRL

She is never alone. Always in the company of her friends and they all always going for the same thing (from phones, to make up, to hair do, to dress sense, and how they walk ).  Sometimes you wonder if they even wear the same panties. In school, they come to class same time, leave same time, go for break same time, even use the rest room same time. No secrets between them. These types also tell their friends the size of their guy’s penis. They are not hard to spot like Siamese twins. If your mind tempt you ever to say ‘ HI’ to them, tell it ”SHUT UP! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”

 

4) MAGAZINE GIRL

Every guy in town wants this girl. She loves the attention even when you are with her. She even expect you to compete with other guys even fight them to show you love her. She will keep reminding you the favour she is doing you by picking you as the one. At first you think the drama will stop, until you get involve in a fight with another guy over her. Maybe you were unlucky and find yourself in the hospital and out of the race for some days only to come back and find out she is dating that guy. I don’t think you will need an advice by then.

 

5) MISS YOU CAN DO BETTER

This sister is not appreciative of all your effort to make her happy. There is always on thing or another that her Ex or other guys around does better that you she is always pointing at. Relationship is not her make up kit brother. She is supposed to complement you not push you out of yourself to a person you don’t even understand.

 

6)  SISTER NAG IT OUT

Nagging is her best hobby. You never settle a dispute in your relationship without involving every of your neighbours. If you live alone in your compound, she makes sure the whole neighbourhood gather to settle the both of you. Anything you say doesn’t get to her head until she sees a crowd. I wonder if she is an aspiring actress and sees you as her rehearsal mirror. You can never make a successful relationship with such girls.

 

7) MISS JEALOUS

You don’t have your privacy with her. She is always about your business for attention. To her being in a relationship with you is having space for no other person but her. She hates it when you spend time with any other person of the opposite sex, even your sisters and mother. She wants your spotlight only on her. She picks a fight whenever a female voice is with you on the other side of the phone. She doesn’t want to know who ever it is.  She will accuse you of seeing your boss or colleague in the office even if they are old enough to be your mother or elder sister. She wouldn’t introduce her female friends to you. Once you meet them, her friendship with them ends.  No man can take this headache; even the best behaved ones would turn the devil with her.

 

8) FANTASY CHICK

It’s only a month in the relationship she has started planning your honeymoon in the moon. She doesn’t care how you feel about it even if you are just seeing her as a good friend. She always wants to flaunt your relationship before others, even if you are not ok with it. She tells everyone you are getting married even if you have not considered it. Being realistic with her gets her upset.  It’s been proven that relationships built on pity leave both parties wishing they never started it at the end. Of course you don’t want that.

 

9) EXTREME FEMINIST

This one is a stone lady. She has no respect for men. She believes no man has anything to offer her. She won’t take you serious even if she knows you mean a lifetime with her alone. She just wants a fling to satisfy her sexual desires. That’s all she ever wants with men. Relationship is a no go area for her. Anytime you preach your sermon, she laughs and smiles at you as if she is watching her favourite comedian perform. All you can get from her is a fling. She gives it without charge. Buying her gifts or trying to play the man role embarrasses her.

Save your kind heart for a lady that wants it.

 

10) GAME GIRLS

Game girls take pleasure in cheating. It boosts their self-esteem to know they get their way cheating. She sweeps you away the first day you meet with her intentional glances, smooth conversation, cute smile, blushing, and pretence naivety.  Funny thing is, they might be communicating with the guy next table and you won’t notice.

They are so good at lying that they will convince you their father created the universe. They complain of network problem and excuse themselves when taking calls in your presence. If they don’t excuse themselves, they make the conversations very brief that you won’t suspect a thing. Game girls are so skilled at acting emotions that you won’t believe they are cheating on you. Best way to know them; they treat your friends not different from you. They smile at their jokes as they do yours, blush at them, wink, glance, even touch them as they do you not minding your presence. It’s good for your girl to respect your friends but there should be limits.

 

11) MISS ARTIFICIAL

She is too enhanced to be real. Everything about her belongs to someone else. She has perfected the smile and laugh of her favourite celebrity on TV that if she looks at the mirror and get them wrong, she becomes upset.

She loves her hair, nails, eye lash, lips, boobs, butt, and skin, only when they are enhanced. You will never see her smiling when she is not enhanced.

Even celebrities have a flaw, that’s why they spend heavy money to cover them, still it’s never enough. Accepting our flaws makes us better and humans. This sister will run you down with her negative energy if you can’t buy her happiness. Of course they don’t sell happiness. It comes from within.

 

12) MISS NO PERSONALITY

This type of lady lives her life to please people. She doesn’t have a personality of her own. Anything you say to her is yes. She never says no.

A relationship works when everything goes 50/50.  A good man needs a lady he can rely on to tell him the truth even when others are afraid to face them and tell them. One they can ask for opinions in taking important life decisions and not be disappointed. A lady they can rely on to bring up their children in a way they will grow to become positive contributors to society. Not a Zombie.

 

13) SISTER GOLD DIGGER

This sister sees your bank statement at one glance. She gets attracted to your flashy lifestyle in other words she doesn’t go close to struggling brothers. Your struggling friends disgust them.

Bruno Mars must have met one before composing ‘GRENADE’. She is always taking, taking, taking, and never giving. You get the best of her whenever you meet her requested needs. She will leave when you can no longer meet her expensive needs. Some of them will even call you bad luck after milking you dry. Cut her off before she gets you to commit suicide.

 

14) MISS INDECISIVE

Miss indecisive is never sure of what she wants from a relationship. One moment, you are all they have been praying for, another moment it’s their Ex, the next moment it’s the new guy chasing them. This is the type you keep fighting to keep. No amount of efforts you put to tame them will work. Fighting for them is a waste because; they will keep going back like a dog to her vomit.

 

15) ONE EYE GIRL

This type believes it’s the man’s duty to meet all the woman’s needs financially in a relationship. Financially they contribute nothing to the relationship. They never stop singing their needs to your ears. Turning it down and trying to talk sense to them or help them find it wherever they kept it, is seen as not retaliating their love and not being man enough. It’s this type that enjoys being a full time house wife.  It’s the twenty first century for crying out loud not the stone age. Ladies are fighting for equal opportunities with men.

16) DRAMA QUEEN

Drama never ends with this type of ladies. It’s so because she is never in good terms with anybody. She complains about everybody and everything. She never likes anybody that you will wonder if she is okay with you. Its either she is complaining about her mother, boss, friends, your friends, your neighbours, hers or your relations. The fault is always with them. She is never at fault. Your trying to correct her will get her quarrelling with you till you quit. She never takes advice.

Remaining single is way much better than opting for this lady, except you want to die of High BP.

 

17) SPOILED BRATS

Spoiled brats are normally mummy or daddy’s girl. Being in a relationship with them is being in a relationship with her parents. Nothing happens in the relationship without their parents knowing. Every little misunderstanding they report you to their parents.

Another thing about them is, they can’t handle normal house chores. They grew up getting things done for them by their maids. This they carry to their own homes. If you are looking for a lady to do your laundries and take care of your house when you are not around, these kind of girls are a no go area. Though some of them change and adjust if you give them the opportunity, majority of them won’t.

 

18) PARTY FREAKS

Partying is the party freaks favourite hobby. She knows all the happening places in town. Barely will there be a weekend that she won’t go out partying with friends. She is always the first to change her status to ‘TGIF’ on Friday evenings.

Not only does she party, she is also a chained smoker and drinker. She knows all the brands of alcohol and their alcoholic content more than the barman. Cigarette wise, they will tell you the brand of a cigarette by just feeling it. Whenever you take her drinking or partying, she always returns wasted. To her, being wasted is the best way to party. Majority of them are Game Girls.

 

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