How to Love and be in a Lovely Relationship Step 2 of 5 LOVING YOUR FRIENDS and FAMILY

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How to Love and be in a Lovely Relationship Step 2 of 5 LOVING YOUR FRIENDS and FAMILY

1. Be a good friend :

Whether you’re trying to create and grow love in a platonic or romantic relationship, you need to be a good friend to the person you love. Love is about more than kissing and hugging: it’s about being there when someone needs you and helping them unselfishly. Work to be as good a friend to them as you can be, and let them do the same. Work hard at your relationships. Show up for your friends. If your buddy’s having an art opening, or playing a concert, buy a ticket and show up in the front row, even if you’re not crazy about the music. Listen when your friend has a problem, and make yourself available emotionally. Try and learn to recognize when it’s ok to be friends, and not possible to be more. Many people complain about being stuck in the “friend zone,” which is really just a way of saying that you’re attracted to someone who isn’t attracted to you. Every healthy person needs a variety of healthy relationships, not all of them romantic. Embrace each interpersonal relationship for the unique brand of love it provides.

2. Respect everyone and earn the respect of others :

Respect your friends, your family, and your lovers by validating their actual accomplishments, opinions and experiences. Try to understand them deeply, on a personal level. Ask them questions, have long discussions, and open your heart. Understand that the other person has their own wishes and desires, and rights to privacy and dignity. If you can’t allow this for another person, then you can’t love them.

3. Love people for who they are :

Everyone is different. This doesn’t make anyone better or worse than anyone else. If you want to love someone, you need to take them for everything that they are, good and bad. Realize that none of those traits may be permanent and that if you want them to change, you have to help them want that change for themselves. Give them the tools they need to make the change. They aren’t yours to mold into your personal statue of perfection.

4. Find the true beauty in others :

Maybe your girlfriend looks like Jennifer Lawrence, but this shouldn’t be the reason you want to be with her. She may be pretty now but she probably won’t be 50 years from now. You won’t be either. When you love someone, you need to find their inner beauty, the thing that makes them unique and wonderful to you. This will make your love and relationship stronger. Relying or basing your love on their great skin or gorgeous hair is probably just going to end in disappointment for everyone.

5. Focus on the positives and embrace the negatives

When you love someone, you should always keep focus on their positive traits. Find the things that you love about them and then give them the tools they need to amplify those traits. Focusing on nitpick things you dislike about them will only make both of you unhappy in the end. You can learn from negativity sometime it’s OK to “Just Say No” and not be willing to try too many risky activities, especially seemingly victimless crimes. Learn to laugh about negative things and accept things as they are, having the courage to adapt and grow yourself, Many people with disabilities, for example, do very well in life because they have an extra dollop of determination and sheer grit. They have faced extremely forbidding circumstances and learned to find a way to overcome them you can too.
If they’re a good singer, for example, help them to record a song and get it out to people. If you love how tidy they are, try to help them out by taking some of the pressure off and let them know how much you appreciate it when they do clean. There are inevitably things that annoy or frustrate us about the people we have relationships with. You need to learn to love someone not despite these traits but, as much as possible, because of them. Try to loosen up and find the humor in the things they do. This will stress you out less and make your relationships much stronger and stable.

6. Communicate clearly and often :

If you want real love to build and grow, you need to keep constant communication. This doesn’t just mean talking about the weather every day; you need to talk about real things that are affecting your lives and your actions. Most importantly, you need to talk about the problems you encounter with each other. Don’t just be the person starting the conversations and handing out criticism, though. You need to create an environment where the other person feels comfortable coming to you with their problems too.

7. Talk through your problems :

You will inevitably encounter problems in your relationship. Maybe there was a breach of trust or someone was hurt by something that got said. Whatever the reason for the hurt feelings, whether intentional or not, you need to talk between the two of you and get everything sorted out. Come to understand each other and patch the holes in the relationship before they become too big. Make sure that everybody gets a turn to talk, don’t interrupt, and respect the other person. Just because their opinion is different doesn’t make it wrong.

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