9 Ways to Have An Affectionate Relationship

9 Ways to Have An Affectionate Relationship


To have Affectionate relationship there must be some physical contact. This medium is used to send the affectionate information to your partner in a relationship and it helps to make him/her feel secure.  In a relationship where there is no holding of hands, cuddling, kissing, there won’t be affection. In fact the affection percentage rating in the relationship will be less than 30%. So make sure there is physical contact if you want to have Affectionate relationship. Here are 9 ways to have Affectionate relationship


1. Recognize discomfort:

Affectionate relationship could be affected if one partner feels discomfort. Some people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma. This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.
Deal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person. Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from. It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.

Talk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why. Ask him or her to be patient. Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy. Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.

Talk to a professional about it. They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection. If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.

Make showing physical affection a habit. Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible. Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.

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2. Hold hands:

Whether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond. In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person. Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about.


3. Include physical touch in your list of health goals:

Having contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure. It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol. Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system.


4. Try a massage:

Along with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship. Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain. For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection. Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favour.


5. Give verbal affirmation:

Giving verbal affection, such as saying, “I love you” or “I care about you”, is an important way to strengthen bonds and is even good for you physically and mentally. Don’t let texting or emailing the ones you love replace verbal affection. If you are apart, then pick up the phone to check in because it’s more personal, even if it takes more time.
Verbal expressions of affection are the words you speak intended to validate your positive feelings of love and affection and make your partner feel loved. This can be unique to you, your partner and your relationship as long as what you say produces the intended emotions and reinforces your affection for each other.

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6. Understand that long-distance relationships require more verbal affection:

Since you won’t be able to physically touch and bolster your bond that way, you will need to tell him or her how you feel more often. This is important to maintain the closeness in your relationship and reinforce feelings of safety, comfort and trust. If possible, use Skype or Google Hangout so you can make eye contact and pick up on physical cues while talking.


7. Compliment someone you care about every day:

Compliments are a form of showing verbal affection that can boost self-esteem, show you care and make the ones you care about feel good. Additionally, compliments motivate people to succeed because they believe they can. Always give truthful compliments, though, or you risk what you say being dismissed as shallow flattery.
Look for things that you admire, appreciate or that the other person is good at to compliment. This can be anything from the way they look, a feature of their face that you particularly enjoy (such as eyes or lips), a personality trait, accomplishments, the positive way they make you feel or a skill set that you admire.
Be honest, and don’t let opportunities to compliment those you love pass you by. Tell your wife, “You have beautiful eyes” while looking at her or “You complete me”, if it’s true. Tell your husband, “You look handsome in that shirt” when he gets ready for work or “You’re a great cook” when he makes you breakfast. Tell your child, “You’re so smart” when you see a report card or “You’re good at sports” after practice.


8. Take the time to say “thank you”:  

Think of all the things the other person does for you or the ways they improve your life. Look them in the eyes and express your appreciation in a few sentences. You want them to know exactly how much you love and appreciate them and everything they do.

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9. Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional:

If you have no desire to show affection or feel affection but can’t express it, consider speaking to a counsellor or therapist—either alone or with your partner. Relationships take work. Don’t associate couple’s counseling or seeking therapy on your own with weakness. If you love someone and want to make it work, then nothing should keep you from seeking help to make your relationship stronger.


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Ajiboye Ifedapo is a young man who believes in LIFE, LOVE and MARRIAGE, who is out with the purpose to teach people on how to live a fulfilled life, have a wonderful relationship and a successful marriage. He is a counselor and the founder of LIVE RIGHT LOVE RIGHT and HAPPY MARRIED WOMEN. you can follow me on twitter @ifedapo2015