WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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THE PROBLEM OF PERFECTION

Your long time spouse that promise you marriage or the one you dream of spending the rest of your life with, left you for another man or woman you are thinking you are not good enough for them?

Your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you with your more beautiful or handsome bestie and you are  blaming it on your looks?

You have been giving your best in your job and your boss is less appreciative you think you are not doing enough so you are working your self out?

You have been trying to break into this friendship circle and you were given several expectations you must meet to belong that you know doesn’t ogour well with you and you are working so hard to meet it so you can belong?

You say to yourself,  IF ONLY I WAS BETTER,  PERFECT ENOUGH. I say its the way of life. You don’t have to be perfect to make an impression.

 

Too many people think  they have to be perfect to make an impression in life,  so they strive all their life to impress people thereby living all their lives meeting the expectations of others about them forgeting their purpose in life. So many are suffering of depression.Alot of people have died of it because their striving for perfection are making them see less of themselves. We are humans,  imperfect beings. It is never expected of us to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect for things to work out between you and others. People that truly care about you will love and respect you for who you are,  not what they want you to be . If they want you to make adjustments in your let it be the ones you know they are right about. If we are to meet our creator one on one and ask HIM his opinion about our striving for perfection,  I believe HE would ask us not to bother because no matter how hard we try,  we can never reach perfection. Love yourself for who GOD made you. That you are not good enough in one persons eyes does not mean you are not good enough in another’s. Here are a few reasons why we should stop trying to be perfect to impress people:

 

IT MAKES YOU SEE YOUR NATURAL

WEAKNESS AS BEING WEAK

As humans, we all have strengths and weaknesses that are normal. They are what makes us humans. We all have are gifts and talents and capabilities. Things we are blessed with. There is something that you are blessed with that others are not. Things that  you are naturally very good at that others are not. Same goes with others,  there are things they are blessed with you are not. Things they are naturallyy good at you will never be good at as them no matter how hard you try. Sometimes,  this makes us feel less of ourselves. Don’t envy them.  This does not mean you are weak or they are better than you. Its nature and you can do nothing about it. Accepting this fact help you become better and homely with yourself as you will accept yourself as you are and love you more. It will go a long way to stop you from living your life to impress people or live up to their expectation at your detriment. There are some things though you can do to suppress your weaknesses. The best one is to grow your strengths. The natural abilities you are blessed with.

 

STRIVING FOR PERFECTION CAUSES

UNHAPPINESS

The major reason why many people are unhappy with themselves is that,  they struggle to,  and wish they were perfect. Hence,  so many of them turn to surgery. There is always one thing about their life or body they don’t like. So many things they wish they had that they will never have. This has led many to make wrong decisions they end up regretting. The ones that did not have the luxury of regret see no meaning in life so they turn to suicide. Everyday on the internet we hear of cyber bullying and other internet related crimes that involve people not being contented with who they are and how much they have achieved so they fall on the party of people seeking validation from others. You don’t need people to validate you and  opinion of yourself,  its a power you shouLD give to no one. If you are not okay with who you are,  no one will take you serious. They will always downplay you. LOVE YOURSELF,  MAKE CHANGES AND IMPROVEMENTS WHERE ITS NECESSARY TO, all those people you are chasing for validation will chase after you. Loving yourself is the key to getting love from others. If you don’t love yourself no one will love you. PLEASE DONT GIVE PEOPLE POWER OVER YOUR LIFE BY GOING AROUND SEEKING VALIDATION. Love youeself,  people will love you.

 

“Although images of perfection in people’s personal lives can cause unhappiness, images of perfect societies – utopian images – can cause monstrous evil. In fact, forcefully changing society to conform to societal images was the greatest cause of evil in the twentieth century.”

Dennis Prager

 

ONE MANS OPINION OF PEEFECTION IS

DIFFERENT FROM ANOTHER

“As different are our faces,  so are our           opinions about things.”

Tanrose Anomuogharan

Yes! Am taking credit of that quotation. Its my personal quotation about difference in opinion as is expected of us as humans. It has helped me a lot when I meet people I share different opinion with on issues abuout life in general. It clears me off the element of surprise when people don’t see things as I see it. It will help you as well. Never expect people to see things as you see it or you will be disappointed 99% of the times that you meet people that share a different opinion on things that you thought a normal human being will take your side on. So never expect to be perfect. What you see as perfect,  you will always meet people that will see it as not. If you have to take their opinion take it and make the necessary adjustments,  if not,  see it as the ways of life. Never struggle to adjust your opinion to please anyone if its not required. Its okay to be different and see things differently.

 

“When I think of art I think of beauty. Beauty is the mystery of life. It is not in the eye it is in the mind. In our minds there is awareness of perfection.”

Agnes Martin

 

 

IT DISTRACTS YOU

“Show me a person that is loved by everyone,  I will show you a total failure of a human being.”

Tanrose Anomuogharan

 

Another personal quotation of mine. This one is one of my favourite. I fell in love with it the moment I realised I was being distracted thinking I can be everyones friend. I beat myself up inside whenever I come across anyone that didn’t like my person. I will study them,  what they like and how to get them to like me. Majority of the times they will take advantage of this and play on my intelligence,  making a fool of me. I stopped being a people pleaser when a girl I gave my all to be her friend told me to my face that no matter how hard I try to impress her,  we will never be friends. it’s the way of life and I should stop being a people pleaser I am,  and stop the fake life of pleasing people I was living. At first,  I hated her for this, later we became friends when I realised she was right. All the people I thought loved my person turned out to be using me and taking advantage of my benevolence. They stopped showing me love as soon as I stopped being the free giver I was. Then,  I was always short of cash. My savings account always read zero a week after receiving my pocket money. If I go to them for help,  they will come up with stories that will make me regret asking them for help. Soon as they realised I wasn’t spending as I was,  majority of them left. Trust me,  my life was better as I created time for meaningful things I have not been giving attention to.

Striving to be perfect by impressing others will distract you from living in reality as you should. People that cannot live up to your principles for living will do all they can to make you feel less of yourself. Never compromise. Its a distraction. Never be a people pleaser, or think everyone must love you,  its a way to waste your life and potentials. Its okay not to be loved by everyone.

 

“Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life’s ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved.”

W. Somerset Maugham

 

“The artist who aims at perfection in everything achieves it in nothing., ”

Eugène Delacroix

 

‘Successful design is not the achievement of perfection but the minimization and accommodation of imperfection.”

Henry Petroski

 

PERFECTION IS BORING

“If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn’t be anything for us to do.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

Have you ever seen a movie where all the characters are perfect? Did you continue seeing it? I guess your answer is no. The reason,  it’s the imperfection of the characters of a movie that makes it worth seeing. There is no movie without the imperfections of the characters. It would lack the suspense element that gets you going. such is life. A perfect life is a boring life. It’s the element of imperfection in us that makes bonding with each other in friendship and as a family stronger. If you know everything about somebody,  being with them will bore you. Its the imperfection in us that drives us everyday to be better than we are and know more about ourselves and those around us. Thus,  the essence of life. Life without our imperfections will be boring.

 

“I don’t love Photoshop; I like imperfection. It doesn’t mean ugly. I love a girl with a gap between her teeth, versus perfect white veneers. Perfection is just…boring. Perfect is what’s natural or real; that is beauty.”

Marc Jacobs

 

 

PERFECTION KILLS SELF ESTEEM

Wishing you were perfect or better than you were created,  destroys your self esteem and makes you see less of yourself. You know why? You are not accepting what you can do nothing about,  which is one law of nature that makes us feel better. Accepting what you can do nothing about makes you more confident of yourself and put you in a better position to fight that inner voice or any one that wants to bully you about your not being perfect. It will also help you to be focused on more important things in life like findind out your purpose here on earth and working towards it. One thing I believe that has helped me over the years and is still helping me is that,  our creator doesn’t make mistakes. Even if you were borned with deformities,  you can turn it to your advantage. We have a lot of people in the world born with deformities that have made great impacts in the world,  others are making impact in this our generation. you can be a part of it. Don’t wish you were perfect. See your imperfections as a challenge to become a better human being. The best people in the world today are people that have accepted their imperfections and daily to master them. Rather than think less of yourself for being imperfect,  accept your imperfection and take steps daily to master them. Find out your purpose in life and work towards it.

 

“Like the rest of the genetic lottery, beauty is unfair. Everyone falls short of perfection, but some are luckier than others. Real confidence requires self-knowledge, which includes recognizing one’s shortcomings as well as one’s strengths.”

Virginia Postrel

 

PERFECTION HOLD US BACK

Perfect people are never expressive. That’s If you know anyone. They are always afraid of expressing themselves or giving their opinion on things. They are ever afraid of what people will say or think about them. They always flow with or follow the crowd. Its what people say they follow even when they have a different opinion. Living like this is living in the shadow. You can never get anything achieved living like this. Wanna know the worst thing about living like this? People will never respect you. They will always see you as that dumb they can always use. In times when you want to be taken serious,  nobody will take you serious. What’s more worse in this life than never fulfilling your purpose here on earth is going through life without having a life of your own. Best way of not having a life of your own is living your life not expressing yourself when its required. There will be many times in life when people will doubt you and what you believe in. Its times like this that history is made and inventions are developed. The greatest inventors of all times were doubted. If they had held back life wouldn’t be as developed as it is today. Never let peoples expectations of you,  what they think is right,  and how you should go about things hold you back. Express yourself when you need to. living without being able to express yourself is living in self slavery denial. Its one reason why slavery of old was abolished. If being able to express oneself is not a necessity,  it would still be very much active till date.

 

“I don’t like these cold, precise, perfect people who, in order not to speak wrong, never speak at all, and in order not to do wrong, never do anything.”

Henry Ward Beecher

 

“The relentless pursuit of perfection has been my problem over the years. It’s maybe held me back.”

Ronnie O’Sullivan

 

YOU CAN NEVER BE PERFECT

The above statement is a fact you shouldn’t in any way dispute. You know why? Because is true. Ask yourself,  what develipmental level have we attained as humans that have never needed improvement? Have you come across any?  The answer will always be no because we will keep developing as humans in every aspect of life. what is in vogue today will be outdated tomorrow. There is always a need to be better,  to do better or achieve more. What is your best today cannot be your best tomorrow unless you don’t want to grow. The latest gadgets today will be outdated tomorrow. So is every other thing and every other aspects of life. Our best efforts today,  will be nothing tomorrow. Why we should not be consumed with perfection. But we can do something that is in our way perfection. ITS GIVIN OUR BEST IN EVERYTHING WE DO IN HOPE TO ACHIEVING OUR DESIRED END RESULT.

 

“A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.”

Chuck Palahni

 

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

Salvador Dalí

 

”Perfection’ to me is, I walk away from a situation and say, ‘I did everything I could do right there. There was nothing more that I could do.’ I was a hundred percent, like the meter was at the top. There was nothing else I could have done. You know? Like, I worked as hard as I possibly could have. That’s perfection.”

 

Drake

 

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