Its possible this is one of the hardest things to accept when it comes to matters of the heart. You find the person you have looked for all your life. Trouble is, they donâ€™t seem to have realized it.
Maybe you met recently and you are head over heels, but they donâ€™t seem very keen. You are hanging on desperately, sure that they must soon realize you are made for each otherâ€¦.. or maybe you have actually been together for years they are very fond of you after all, and being with you is easy but deep down you know they donâ€™t really love you.
Sooner or maybe later they will tell you that things just arenâ€™t working out, but you donâ€™t want to hear it. You try to persuade them to give you another chance. Maybe you try to change, to become the person they really want. It’s all a bit humiliating really, but you donâ€™t see it like that. You think its worth it to win their love.
Funny thing is though it never works. Love just isnâ€™t like that. You can jump through any hoops you like, beat yourself up for not being able to match up to their standard (as you see it), damage your confidence and yourself esteem in the process, and still they wonâ€™t love you. They canâ€™t, maybe they are gentle and apologetic about it, and maybe they are unkind or even brutal.
The same scenario is played out in relationships the world over where only one of the two is actually in love. Think through some of the couples you know and I bet you can think of examples where this is true.
I know people who have been through this, and have taken months or years to realize there is no hope. Since then, they have found romance with someone who reciprocates their love. And the interesting thing is that everyone I know who has been through this says the same thing; thank goodness that other relationship finally ended, because this is so much better
You see, however wonderful the object of your affections is, if they donâ€™t love you back the relationship will never be that good. Even supposing they could love you, if it requires you to keep jumping through all those hoops to hang on to them, itâ€™s just not worth it. You need and deserve someone who loves you for who you are, not for who you are pretending or trying to be.
So as soon as realize you are with someone who doesnâ€™t love you, you need to be really brave and end the relationship before they do. You will feel bad about losing them, but great for holding on to your pride, and one day you will look back and realize how courageous and right a decision it was.
By Richard Templar
The Power of Appreciation in Marriages/RelationshipsFollow Love Venture on WordPress.com