A short while ago I bumped into a gentleman in a group conversation, just as other persons drifted into other things I was left standing with him so I decided to engage him. During the conversation I got to know who he was and what he does, and as expected he was excited to tell me about his line of business and the role he plays. While he was talking he did mentioned something that caught my attention and I decided to pitch one of my ideas to him. In response he asked for my motivation and I candidly told him I wanted to help others avoid the mistakes I made in that area. He wanted to know exactly want happened so I hinted him and just at the smell of my story he went off and began to judge me. I tried pushing a little further but I could see he wasnâ€™t going to listen. Like many other people he was caught up in his little judgmental melodrama but he was too late; I had done enough of that to myself and I was not going to let anyone no matter his profile take me back to my past. I remembered Bishop T.D. Jakes said â€œif I show it to you and you can ignore it, then itâ€™s not for you.â€ The gentleman was blindsided just like many people you probably have met and tried to convince to team up with you for something but they rejected you because of your history. Congratulations, you are not your history, you are not your past!Â As I walked away from that meeting that day I remembered telling myself â€œyou canâ€™t stop me now am going to keep moving because I believe in myself, yes I have failed before but am going to run again.â€ [ Read Also:Â Never test the depth of a river with both feetÂ ]
Failure is a part of life and the man who has not failed has not lived. Unfortunately we live in a culture that is pretense driven and result oriented which is not bad in itself. Unfortunately what the media tells you is the pump and glamour of the success story leaving out the struggles and pains of losses and lessons learnt along the way. If I am to do a census here of some of the richest men in the world, you will find out they all have some humbling stories of failure. The only difference between them and the people you donâ€™t know is that they choose to succeed. How do you regain momentum after a scandal or huge defeat? I follow comeback stories from sports to business to politics and what have you, I am always fascinated with people pulling out of the ruins of their past to regain their stardom status. I have little or no respect for people who have never tasted defeat before. From all my observation and studies I want to share with you how to regain momentum after a setback in your life.
1 Accept your failure as your own
Blame fixing has not fixed any problem since the day it was invented and yours will not be the first. The first step to healing and recovery is accepting responsibility for your errors or poor judgment. There may be exceptional scenarios where it was not your fault or your own doing but when the buck really lies stops at your door, resist the urge to pass it. Take full responsibility for whatever mistake it was you made and accept for probably not doing enough or doing too much. Donâ€™t point fingers to other people it makes you week, every time you blame others you inadvertently make them the drivers of your destiny. Accepting your failure as yours sincerely is the first step to regain control of your life and destiny. The reversal however is to know when itâ€™s not your fault. For example if you pour your life into an abusive relationship with a partner who just canâ€™t seem to trust you enough or accept you and in the end decides to walk away; thatâ€™s not your fault. Wisdom demands that you simply move on.
2 Forgive yourself
Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can yourself after a terribly flawed outing at any point in life. Maya Angelou once said â€œforgive yourself for not knowing you didnâ€™t know before you learnt it.â€ A greater percentage of the mistakes we make stems from our ignorance, we simply didnâ€™t know better. Unforgiveness especially to yourself is the prison of destiny, and you are the warden of that prison. No one can let you out because it only opens from the inside, it is time to open the prison doors and let yourself out. Let go of the pain and regret, you have shed enough tear about it now let go of the pain. Drop the pains and walk away. I remember when I had to drop the chains of a broken relationship, I had held myself bound for days as I struggled with the guilt of the split. The objective side of me said it wasnâ€™t my fault but sympathetic and critical side said I was to blame. The more I leaned to my critical side the sorrier and miserable I became; I was in need of forgiveness from myself. I needed to release myself from self-imprisonment. My breakthrough moment finally came when I was able to put the issue in the right perspective and forgive myself, I simply dropped the chains and walked away towards the dawn.
3 Learn from it
If you go through an ordeal without learning anything itâ€™s just as good as wasting the whole episode. When you fall pick something from the ground that will be benefit to your future. You see failure is like ripe oranges and the lessons learnt represents the juice you squeeze from it. Itâ€™s alright to fail but fail without learning from the failure is unpardonable. To learn you must be honest and be willing to objectively go over the past with lenses of wisdom and an open mind. Ask yourself sincere questions, look what you missed, consider things you did wrong and the ones you didnâ€™t do at all. Talk to people and ask honest questions, remember this is your opportunity to prevent a reoccurrence. Put sentiments aside and face the plain facts as they present themselves and be candid about them.
4 Go again!
It is not over until you win, Paul the apostle said â€œhaving done all to stand, stand therefore.â€ The aim of the previous steps listed above is to help go again and this win at all cost. Thereâ€™s no point sitting down philosophizing in a corner about the things you have learnt, it doesnâ€™t make any sense: get up and try again. Usually youâ€™ll experience some level of panic and you might find your past coming to witch-hunt you but keep going. It might be a little humbling having to walk those familiar grounds again especially when you have to face the ruins and relics of the past but you must learn to stay focused and keep going forward. Deliberately ignore the mental pranks you past might be playing on you, ignore the bitter criticism of cynics and keep moving forward. At first you journey might be slow and painful but if you keep moving you will regain your speed and momentum. As you step out of the woodworks stay focused and keep your eyes on the goal, refuse to be side tracked by the critics and cynics, you will win their applause if you donâ€™t give up.
help share the article to your friends on different social media with the share button, it might be of help to themFollow Love Venture on WordPress.com