How to Handle and the Position of Lies in Relationships

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lies in relationship

The truth is a very simple aspect of relationship that has being long sold on different basis.
The truth often times is left in the hearts of individuals and not pronounced, the truth has no sides as it is basically based on actual happening.
However most relationships are built on the basis of lies, either seen as “big” or just “little” lies. There are no measures to lies, a lie is a lie.
Unlike a lot of arguments on which gender tell lies in relationship the most, the truth is, it is not about the gender but the individual.
A self trained being will choose to tell the truth not because he/she is of a gender, tribe or family but because they choose to be honest for their peace of mind.
Is it safe to lie to save one’s relationship?
The answer to that question comes with some questions
What are you lying about?
How long will a lie last?
Do you feel at peace lying?
Truth be told, a lie cannot stand or hold anything. It only tends to keep replenishing and with time those lies will expose you cheaply, easier than you think. Nowadays when people hear the three words ‘I love you’  they tend to make a little value to it because it has been misused severally by selfish individuals who have had to lie about it and used it as a tool to getting what they want. Every individual that lies have their reasons they believe justify them for lying, but there is no and shouldn’t be any justification for lying, it’s just a selfish act.
Let’s look at some common lies individuals tell in a relationship and the reasons

1 Lie about their religion or believe

A man or woman who wants to get married to another person of another religion could lie that they are of the religion of the person they choose to marry.
That has happened on many occasions to different people, who realize after being married to another individual they believed was genuine.
The reason for this kind of deceit is because the individual according to research, especially from men, nobody wants a bad woman as a wife, they want a good woman that has the fear of God and they know the only way they can get this is through religious gathering because of this they play a lie just to get what they want and deceive their partner in believing they are genuine. This has happened severally and the marriage is ruined even before it started because there is nothing found in the foundation of deceit that leads to success not to talk of something as sensitive as marriage.

2 Living a lie

This is the broadest of the lies, individuals in this category lie about the family they are from, the school they went, the work they do, their age, their perspective etc.
Victims in this relationship have no idea the person they are dating, everything about such relationship is well stage manage. But one thing about this type of relationship is that it mostly catches the people that wants too much from their partner (in quote high standard). For example, a lady will say I can’t marry a man that has no car. And this man getting to know this will lie and increase his living standard to the level of the lady because he wants her even though her standard is too much for him. At the end of the day when the man already has the lady, the truth begins to come out when the man can no longer live up to that standard he has lied about but by the time the woman finds out, it might be too late because they are already married with a kid or two

3 Glittering lives

There is a saying that everything that glitters isn’t gold, but in this kind of relationship everything is glittering that even the ones that has a genuine relationship will envy the couple not knowing it’s all a fake life. This always happen when the individual wants to follow what the society is doing, they always want their friends and society to see them as the boss even though they have nothing but they don’t want to accept that, so instead of accepting they have nothing and let people know they don’t have anything, they would rather deceive themselves and the people, living a life they don’t have. Forcing themselves to live up to the standard of their friends and competing with people that has everything working for them.

4 Lie to save the situation

Often time people tend to disregard this kind of lies as it is just casual, normal or needful.
Forgetting the fact that when one lies to save the situation and if the situation reoccurs again which I am definitely sure will, you will lose the trust of that person even though you lied to save the person in question because the person will ask the question, has he/she been lying to me also?
If you have been lied to, deceived in all the relationship you have been into and you are scared of getting into another relationship because you don’t want to be lied to any more, this is how you can overcome a lie (how to know if your partner lies)

– To overcome a lie is to listen not only with your ears but your brain, this is not to say that individuals should start doubting people for no reason but for us to avoid being vulnerable to lies.
A lie can never stand forever, but do not realize the lies when it is too late.
There is no harm in surprise visits seldom just to see the real routine of your partner, especially when such individuals are always saying things about themselves that contrast what they previously said.
For example someone who says something and later says another thing that does not go in the direction of what they have once said about themselves.

– Tend to not be forgetful to things people say about themselves – some individuals are smooth liars and if you are a forgetful person they tend to use that fact against you and tend to keep twisting things they previously said because they know you will not remember they said something else, if at all you remember, they can tend to make it seem as though it was only your imaginations. Be careful with individuals who don’t see lying as a thing, to them it does not come with stress. They take pride in the fact that they are smart liars.

Read Also: Quality Ways Your Capacity Determines Your Success
– Be prayerful – no matter how smart one can be, individuals can tend to have compromising thoughts especially when emotions are involved, you sense this is a lie but you just tend not to want to live the truth. Being prayerful will help individuals to seek God’s face over issues.

PS  don’t live a life full of lies that will affect you later, lies are not good for any relationship, always say the truth and be loved as you.

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