Basic Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them pt 2

basic relationship problems


Jealousy has never helped anyone even outside a relationship. It only leads to bitterness and more bitterness. Bitterness in turn will lead us to act without thinking, and taking decisions we will end up regretting. I once heard of a situation where a man burnt his wife’s face with hot iron because she always gets the attention of other men. For him disfiguring his wife is the way to stop other men from noticing her. This is just one of the many situations jealousy has caused. If you must curb jealousy in your relationship, you must trust and believe that your partner cannot cheat on you no matter what. If they are giving others attention more than they should, talk to them about it and let them understand how you feel about it instead of keeping it inside, it will help you handle jealousy.


Many men raise their voice on their wife or girlfriend, sometimes hitting them. If they don’t, they will use abusive words or words of intimidation that damages the self esteem of their partner. Some women do the same thing. Yes, some women are the ones on the abusive side, they hit their man even use intimidating words like , “YOU ARE NOT MAN ENOUGH”, especially if they are more wealthy  than the man or situation make them the bread winner of the family for that moment. No man wants to be told they are not man enough. It drives us crazy.  It doesn’t matter if you are the bread winner of the family for the moment or you are wealthier than your man. In relationships, the man should always be given the figure head respect. On the side of the men, you are to treat her as a queen and make her feel appreciated, not the other way round. A man that abuses women is less than a baby, not worthy of the man title. That you are male doesn’t make you a man, it’s how you treat others rightly that makes you a man. No wonder the popular saying, “TO BE A MAN IS NOT A DAYS JOB.”


Responsibility on the part of both partners is required to make a relationship work. That moment you make the decision you want somebody in your life for a relationship, know you are responsible for them. Many think you have to meet all the needs of your partner to be responsible for them, no. You don’t have to meet all their needs. Being there for them when they need you is enough. A friend of mine lost the best girl he has ever dated when she lost her dad. She needed him to be there to help her through that time but he wasn’t around because he thought she would require financial assistance which he wouldn’t be able to provide at that moment. She kept calling him but he ignored her calls until after the burial ceremony. When he finally picked her call, he apologized and told her why he has been staying away and avoiding her calls, guess what she replied, she told him she doesn’t care about the financial assistance he would have given because she understand his condition at that moment. All she needed was just for him to be by her side and help her through that time. Sometimes we think we know our partner too much to know what they want. Truth is, we will keep learning new things about them and how to work things out with them as the relationship progress. Being a responsible partner will help you go a long way. Just be there for them when it is required.

Read Also: All Of My Life; Have Been Searching For Love

unrealistic expectations


Everyone have expectations from any relationship they get into. For those in a relationship and are yet to get married, it is getting married someday. For the married ones, it is a blissful and fulfilling marriage. If your partner is seeing the relationship from the angle at which you are seeing it , fine for you, if he or she is not, you might just be on a cruise ship with someone  wishing the ride end as soon as possible. Best way to find out is to talk about where the relationship is headed with them or read the direction of the relationship with their actions towards you.

Sometimes it’s about how we expect our partner to treat us in a relationship or how we want a relationship to be. You cannot be in a relationship all by yourself that why you went for him or her. It’s about two individuals (you and your partner) and how you make things work. Will your partner accept the decisions you are making, will they be comfortable with it, and are you expecting them to do things that they are not aware of or you are expecting them to do certain things that they are not doing? Majority of the times our partner can’t meet these for they have different expectations of the relationship. The most common one is going into a relationship thinking our partner will help establish us financially because they are rich. If this doesn’t happen, we start acting otherwise. Never make the mistake of going into a relationship for financial benefits, your partner might be rich but want their life companion to be financially independent or they might be the type that is rich but slow to let go or release cash. Best way to cut all these is to discuss where the relationship is headed with your partner and see if they are seeing it from same angle with you. Sometimes they might not want what you want, if you can cope with what they want, fine. If you can’t, go for someone that will see relationship with you from an angle that will work.

“Be realistic. Thinking your partner will meet all your needs or will be able to figure them out without your asking, is a complete Hollywood Fantasy.”




Addictions are one of the most difficult things to do away with in life. It takes a strong will and determination to do away with them. Every one of us has addictions.

Some of us are addicted to some things that we find hard to let go. These things affect our relationship. I know a very nice lady that has passed 38 and is yet to get married because of her addiction to wearing exposing clothes, clubbing, and excess drinking. She has been in and out of relationships that would have led to marriage but her partners kept leaving her for this same reason. She kept telling herself and believing that one day she would find a man that would coupe with her lifestyle until recently that she adjusted her life style in the quest to get a husband, but the men are no longer coming her way as they were. The ones coming her way just want to have fun and leave her.

Some men and women still keep late nights hanging out with their friends even after marriage. They find it hard to leave their youth life style behind. Am not saying keeping late nights with friends is bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s good to handout with good friends sometimes into the night; it revives us in a way. If you must do it, do it with the permission of your partner. It has led to the crash of many marriages and relationships. The day you make the decision to get into a relationship or get married, you become your partner’s responsibility and they become yours.

How do we get over our addictions then? A VERY GOOD REASON is enough. Think about the negative effects of your addiction to your life and what it is causing you. Think about what you will gain leaving that thing you are addicted to that is tearing your relationship apart. The love, care, and appreciation you will get, the boost in self esteem.  Above all, how satisfied you and your partner will be because your relationship that was falling apart is now working because you fought that addiction and defeated it, plus tell your partner about your addiction.


The trend of our modern day, there is hardly a person in the world not using social media because of its fast way of reaching out to our friends and loved ones, even meeting new people.

The power of social networking is such that, the number of worldwide users is expected to reach some 2.95 billion by 2020, around a third of Earth’s entire population. An estimated 650 million of these users are expected to be from China alone and approximately a third of a million from India. The region with the highest penetration rate of social networks is North America, where around 60 percent of the population has at least one social account. As of 2016, 78 percent of the United States population had a social networking profile    WWW.STATISTICS.COM

As good as it is, it also have it’s bad sides. So many relationships and marriages has crashed because of it.

Read Also: How to Understand the Real Commitment to a Marriage

“Reconnecting with old friends from school may seem a nice idea, and in many ways it is. You have a lot to talk about, stories to tell, and reminiscences to bond over. But you may reconnect with someone you once adored from afar. And now that you’re all grown-up you may get the urge to explore feelings that went unrequited 20 or 30 years ago. If you’re already in a relationship this could spell disaster.

It isn’t just old flames, either. People use social networking sites to hook up. Even if it’s a hook up of the extra-marital variety, I hate to think of the number of relationships and even marriages that have ended as a result of social networking. And when they do, where is the first place a person shares the news? On that same social networking site, of course


They ask ‘WHATS ON OUR MIND’ but don’t require us or force us to tell them all on our mind. Just the things that we should say that won’t hurt anyone or cause us to regret using the beautiful invention of social media

So many are tempted to cheat on their partners through social media because of the different people from different works of life we meet and socialize with easily.

Like in real life, we don’t say all that comes to our mind or what we think or feel about people or situations, we edit them. Else, we will hurt a lot of people even destroy our relationship with them. We might even get ourselves in trouble or put our lives in dangerous situations that are avoidable. That’s how we should use social media. Relationships experts advise you don’t even put your relationship on social media at all.

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