A woman used to club with his boyfriend, they hangout together before they get married but after marriage she wasnâ€™t enjoying it anymore but the husband wonâ€™t stop because the enjoyment for him has just began.
She resulted into being violet just to stop her husband from that way of life, but the point is, she saw him like that and married him, she saw the foundation like that but still went ahead to build her marriage and home on it.
Are you also like this girl? That built her marriage on a wrong foundation and was later complaining / sad about it.
Like a popular Yoruba adage says
â€œYou canâ€™t jump in the river to swim and complain of being cold.â€
I shouldnâ€™t complain because nobody forced me into the river, I jumped in the river myself to swim, so why complain.
I should know the consequences before deciding to swim in the river and should bear it.
The same thing applies in marriage. When we talk about marriage foundation, it begins from the relationship but no matter what I will recommend you beÂ like the wise man the bible talked about who built his house on a rock and the wind couldnâ€™t fall it down
Below are the marriage foundations to run from
1 drinking foundation
This type of foundation is one of the most common types of foundation; itâ€™s more common among men than in women.
Most women overlook this foundation because they believed its normal but itâ€™s after marriage that they get to know itâ€™s abnormal when they couldnâ€™t cope anymore.
Someone that drinks, especially regularly can do lots of things which always have a bad effect on the marriage, family and home
One thing they do is womanize, donâ€™t be deceived when your fiancÃ© tells you donâ€™t worry I donâ€™t womanize; even though my friends are doing it, I will not do it trust me.
He is right, but he is not totally right in the sense that he has no intention to womanize but he canâ€™t be surrounded by group of drunkards that womanize without being influenced.
The dangerous thing about it is, his friends that have done it are expert, he is a novice which can make him get hooked at his first attempt.
What does this means? It means he wonâ€™t be able to control himself which might eventually result in leaving his marriage and wife.
This can also happen to the women that drinks, I know of a woman who attend all parties, invited or not invited and will leave the husband with the kids at home without her doing the mother and wife responsibilities
Womanizing isnâ€™t the only problem here but also the spending of the house income on drinks, thereby leaving the home to suffer.
The best option is to run away from this kind of marriage foundation to save you from headache, sadness and every other attachment
2 womanizing marriage foundation
Are you dating a womanizer? Or maybe your spouse is not just a womanizer but a chronic one, as you are reading this, I will recommend you to drop him a quitting note immediately.
I know he has told you he will change and you also believe he will change but after telling you he will change you still caught him with another woman.
Itâ€™s their nature and not just a word can make them change, if you stop noticing anything donâ€™t believe he has changed, he has just gotten smarter in the game.Â Let me give you a hint which is 99% correct, it always get worse after marriage
This means what you are seeing now that you are not yet married to him is just a tip of the iceberg, after marriage he wonâ€™t care about how you feel anymore because you have his kids already.
Do you want the kind of marriage where you are scared that any woman can come home to introduce herself to you as the second wife, telling you sheâ€™s already pregnant for your husband?
If you donâ€™t want to cry yourself to bed every night while the man sleeps peacefully, it’s better you make your choice now.
Itâ€™s all in your hands; you will be left alone to face the result
3 laziness marriage foundation
Itâ€™s a bad thing when one of the couples is lazy, maybe a lazy wife or a lazy husband but worse when the husband is lazy.
In this kind of situation it turns the woman automatically to the bread-winner; she will be the one to shoulder all the responsibilities at home when the head and father of the house has refused to get off his ass to work.
This always started from the relationship, but our women are always blind to it, love is blind, just that the love always receive a miracle after marriage whereby the love sees. Marriage is a very good miracle worker isnâ€™t it?
A woman chatted me up, when she started her story; at some point I pitied her because she made a very big mistake.
She was the one that paid her own bride price and spent all the money for the wedding, after the marriage the husband refuses to do anything.
Why will he do anything when the woman was actually the man, she got married to the man, the man didnâ€™t get married to her.
Marriage is delicate, why people are not sensitive to it always baffles me, your marriage determines your faith, maybe you will be happy or miserable, maybe you will be in hell or heaven. You better start taking it seriously before itâ€™s too late for you
4 irresponsible marriage foundation
People believe you are responsible when married, when the married ones are out there chasing the single ones, so where exactly is the responsibility in that? Being responsible to me is when someone does the right thing and does it well whether single or married.
A responsible person is not a married person. A responsible person is a person having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one’s job or role. Being the primary cause of something and so accept the blame or credited for it
You donâ€™t need to be married before you discover your spouse isnâ€™t responsible, responsibility starts from relationship.
If you are not seeing it in your relationship then you will definitely not see it in your marriage because itâ€™s still the same person
A story I heard about a man, when they were courting, the woman doesnâ€™t cook for him when he visits, she always give him fast food, like bread etc. the man thought itâ€™s because they are not married yet so he overlooked it.
As I am writing this, the man is lamenting in his marriage, complaining bitterly how his wife wonâ€™t cook in the house giving both him and the children fast food and staled food to eat.
He saw the signs but he didnâ€™t do anything about it instead he overlooked it and enters the fire with his eyes wide opened.
These are the key foundations you should look out for in your relationship before you think about saying yes I do, if you build your marriage/home in any of this foundation
How successful you want your home to be determines how deep and strong your marriage foundation should be. The challenges will certainly come but whether your family will overcome is determined by the type of foundation you have laid.
If you could avoid all of these foundations, then I am very sure you are heading in the right direction in marriage.
I will write about the best marriage foundation you should build your home on next, you should try to look out for it and read for full understanding plus proper guiding.
If you have already built your marriage/home on any of this foundation and the wind is disturbing your home already, then you need a therapist ASAP, for the procedure to safe your home from the wind. Yes you can still safe your home, itâ€™s not the end just that it requires some hard work from you. Are you ready?
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