Did I Take Too Long To Forgive Him,Or Was It Just Not Meant To Be?

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conflicts in relationship

There is a thin line between love and hate and there is hardly a situation when hurt don’t go with love.
We had everything a normal relationship ought to have,we were friends,we could play and talk for long.
There are times I felt he was a darling,and other times he was my best friend.
As against the normal believe that things just changed drastically,it didn’t. There was something about us that I never liked,it makes me unhappy when it happens.
Hmm,what am I talking about?
I hate when we fight,as nice as our relationship was,this tiny fact was a big barrier.
It takes me a longer time to let go,I could be whining for weeks whilst he was too egoistical to apologize when he was wrong.

Read Also: How to Understand the Real Commitment to a Marriage
He never sees the need to say am sorry,and I don’t see the need to help him too.
But this argument was unusual,he neither called,visited my place of work or even my house for months and even though I wasn’t ready to help him solve the issue,I still was not comfortable with it all.
Four months and we neither spoke nor saw each other,this is not cool I thought. And for the first time I made attempt to see him,he was neither excited nor depressed to see me. But I noticed that spark was not there anymore.
We started working things out and truth be told it was only a struggle,we then decided to seek a counselor.
This woman I thought was the most practical person I ever met,very realistic I noticed.
She only asked a question that made us quiet “how true is the love you have for one another?”
She then explained the topic

CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN RELATIONSHIP

Conflict itself is beautiful,it makes us want each other again. But the cause and how we choose to resolve the conflict most times are inappropriate.
The use of improper language when trying to resolve issues in a relationship is highly wrong. You don’t have to call names all in the name of anger,you hardly can manage words after you have spoken them.

There is no time to resolve an argument 

some people will wait till an appointed time to talk about it,once you are able to express how you feel in proper words you need not wait for anytime before you resolve your conflict.

Ego is a contraction of love 

Don’t place ego in your relationship,this is not to under estimate self respect or dignity. But the truth we fail to recognize is that ego Is not you respecting yourself,but you doing the unnecessary.
Saying sorry does not make you less of a human,and accepting sorry does not make you gullible.

A forgiving heart

A forgiving heart is a cheerful heart that does not dwell on the wrong doings of others and simply works towards happiness.

Read Also: How to Understand the Real Commitment to a Marriage
If there is anything to be “selfish” about it should be forgiveness, forgive for your own peace and joy not necessarily because the other person deserves it or apologized but because you need to move on in life.

Communicate 

Relationship is for two mature partners, when you are mature trivial things won’t matter most. Maturity is talking and listening,taking to correction and self control. The essence of a relationship is lost if you don’t learn to understand each others difference,take to correction and being upright.
She concluded by saying I wish I knew all I know now,perhaps I would be married to the love of my life.
He was apologetic when we fought over a small matter,I never listened till our hearts grew cold and we lost the good relationship we had.
Each time I remember I ask myself this question “did I take too long to forgive him? Or was it not meant to be.

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