The Power of Appreciation in Marriages/Relationships



When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives what do you think was discovered to be the main reason wives ran away? It was “lack of appreciation.” And I’d bet that a similar study made of runaway husbands would come out the same way. We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.

A member of one of our classes told of a request made by his wife. She and a group of other women in her church were involved in a self-improvement programme. She asked her husband to help her by listing six things he believed she could do to help her become a better wife. The husband told the class: “I was surprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to list six things I would like to change about her—my heavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like to change about me – but I didn’t, I said to her, “Let me think about it and give you an answer in the morning.”

“The next morning I got up very early and called the florist and had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying: “I cannot think of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way you are.”

“When I arrived at home that evening, who do you think greeted me at the door: that’s right, my wife! She was almost in tears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticised her as she had requested.

“The following Sunday at church, after she had reported the results of her assignment, several women with whom she had been studying came up to me and said. “That was the most considerate thing I have ever heard.” It was then I realized the power of appreciation.

Recognizing Dale Carnegie

What I am using this story to preach is simple: before you get into the marriage/relationship, you saw your spouse the way they are, you know the way they behave, you know what they can do, if you know you cannot put up with it, it’s better you quit instead of getting into the marriage/relationship and start bringing out faults and complaints. Don’t ever ever forget to appreciate your spouse, whether they are doing enough or lagging behind because no matter what they are trying their best and your appreciation can go a long way in making them to be the best spouse, and the best in whatever they do.

PS: Don’t take appreciation for granted in your marriage, relationship and in any kind of environment/relationship.


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Ajiboye Ifedapo is a young man who believes in LIFE, LOVE and MARRIAGE, who is out with the purpose to teach people on how to live a fulfilled life, have a wonderful relationship and a successful marriage. He is a counselor and the founder of LIVE RIGHT LOVE RIGHT and HAPPY MARRIED WOMEN. you can follow me on twitter @ifedapo2015