When we hear the word marriage, what comes to our mind is completion. That with marriage you are complete, but what we fail to understand is, it’s the other way round. Marriage does not complete you, but rather it exposes you. When we see someone that is of marriage age but still single, we look at the person and have pity on the person because we feel something is missing in the person that the person isn’t complete yet because the person isn’t married.
I will like to point out some things to us because we are getting the whole point of marriage wrong and we have been wrong from the early stage which is why we see more divorce in marriage than happily ever after. We have accepted the wrong idea and have programmed it in our mind, passed it on from generations. Which is why people always look on to the wedding day like the happiest day in their life but come to think of it, if since you were born till you are married, you haven’t had any happiest day and you are looking onto your wedding day to be the happiest day of your life, don’t you feel you are doing something wrong.
Have seen marriages of 24hours resulting in chaos, yes I know you are saying my own marriage won’t be like that. The point is, it does not change the fact, and if you meditate on it very well you will know it’s just the only way we deceive ourselves instead of us to face the reality. When I was in school, the people that had finished school before me always tell me there is no job out there, I should find something else doing, I should improvise but I always shoot it down and say that’s you not me because I will definitely get a job. Well, it’s a good faith plus hope but it does not change the fact and reality which I failed to see but now seeing it myself after school spending years looking for a job that wasn’t lost. What if I have listened and didn’t shoot it down, maybe I will be employing my mates now.
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This brings us back to what I was saying don’t shoot this down, so for your marriage not be like that, you need to work on it. When you are waiting and looking onto your wedding day to be the happiest day of your life for years and finally it is here. You were very happy as you have programmed your mind to it but just in 24hours chaos surfaced. Will that day still be the happiest day of your life? With my little years in this career, I have seen many situations, people regretting ever getting married, and marriage resulting into divorce after just few months of marriage. They waited for years for the happiest day of their life only for it to result into a divorce. Since their happiest day has gone sour, how will they cope? Can they ever be happy again? All these are the reasons why some people mostly women always lose it when the marriage goes bad. Because they are mostly the ones living in the world of fantasy, programming their mind to put all their happiness on the wedding day
If you are single and still carrying it in mind that your marriage will complete you, you are on the wrong road because your marriage does not complete you but instead exposes all your shortcomings. Before marriage, you are on your own as a lady, no one knows you don’t know how to cook or maybe they know but not concerned because it’s not a problem to them. Immediately you get married it will be exposed that you don’t know how to cook because you have to cook for your husband every day. Do you think that will strengthen your marriage? I don’t think so. Before marriage nobody complains about your attitude problem, so it is safe but don’t worry your marriage will expose them. Nobody knows you have a low sperm count but your marriage will expose it. All these are not good signs and it can wreck a marriage if not handled carefully.
Can you now see it’s the other way round? That you are the one to be complete not your marriage to complete you because it won’t, it will only expose you; so if you cannot cook, make sure you learn how to cook before marriage, if you have a bad character , make sure you change it before marriage, if you don’t tolerate, make sure you change it before marriage. Etc because your marriage is waiting and ready to expose it
Look at yourself, check yourself and find out the areas in your life that needs to be completed, it can be anything. Is it that you don’t know how to say thank you? You don’t know how to forgive? The list continues.
Before marriage you must be very complete as your marriage won’t complete you but exposes you and it’s those things you go into marriage with that your marriage will expose. If you go into the marriage as a good cook, your marriage will expose it because your husband won’t stop talking about it, if you go into your marriage with a good character, your marriage will expose it even in front of your in laws and friends.
With this, I think we can say,
“Your marriage does not complete you but it’s you that completes your marriage.”
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