How the Fantasy of Love can Ruin your Marriage

fantasy of love

Every woman goes into marriage with a great fantasy in their head, well what do I expect? When Indian movies have painted love and marriage to be all rosy, oh yes not to also mention Telemundo, but hey, it’s just a movie which is so different from reality.

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When reality sets in, then the marriage looks like it’s hitting the rock just because the fantasy picture playing in their head isn’t showing, believing that the man is bad for them. Then they go crazy, they take it to be their partner isn’t romantic which basically kills the marriage because they compare their partner with the hero in my heart beats for Lola or that Indian movie. Ladies wake up, no man sings and dance for his girl just like they do in Indian movies, this is a shocker, even those in the movies that you are comparing your man and marriage with ain’t doing it for their wife which is why they don’t have a good relationship and marriage in reality

Marriage is beautiful, but also marriage is beautifully dangerous, it’s two things at the same time, when you get it wrong you see the dangerous side and when you get it right, you will see the beautiful side, so it’s just a thin line between the two, it’s now in your court to choose which side you fall into but definitely not with the fantasy mentality. Therefore, you have to clean off the fantasy, and then shoot down the ignorance for a successful marriage.

Forgetting the fantasy will help you know that you can’t think of your marriage like the movies, they are so different, they are following a script, they are acting and they have the director where you are your own director in your marriage. Furthermore, shooting down the ignorance will make you understand that without adequate knowledge about marriage with some hard work, you will do so many wrong things which will push your marriage to the ground

You want your husband to bring breakfast for you in bed? That might never happen; you want your husband to open the car door for you? That might never happen, you want him to sing a love song to you, send you roses? That might never happen.

Wait! Don’t be sad, because all these aren’t happening doesn’t mean your relationship/marriage isn’t beautiful or is bad, don’t let fantasy ruin it for you before it begins. Your husband isn’t superman, he is human so don’t expect him to act like a god, he is going to disappoint you once in a while. He is going to get you angry, he might hurt you but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care or love you even if he is not saying it every minute like you wanted him too.

A woman chats me up sometimes ago and started narrating her story to me about her marriage and husband when she was narrating everything in bitterness and anger I discovered what was going on with her. I understood she was hurt deeply, disappointed and I also sensed that it all happened because she had a fantasy in her head. During our conversation after I have told her, her husband isn’t a bad man, he is human and she is carrying fantasy in her head which is why it all played that way. She smiled, admitted to it that it’s true and told me her husband always say that.

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All I did was just to work her through the hurt and take her away from her fantasy; they had another honeymoon on her birthday when her husband gave her a surprise vacation. She has her man in her arms now and enjoying her marriage

I am wondering what could have happened if we didn’t have that talk then, many women are going through the same ordeal, your husband and marriage need you, needs your hard work not some fantasy from the M&B you read or some love movies.

It’s not going to be all roses; sometimes it could be a fire you just have to find a way to put that fire off. Acquire the knowledge of marriage from realities, not some movies that will put some fantasy in your head. It will make it look like your marriage is not working where it is working it just requires a little more effort.

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